The Secret to Effortless Conversations: Give People Something to Look At
2025-04-24
The author noticed that conversations flowed more easily while walking, hiking, or driving, and also in group settings involving games. Initially, he attributed this to shared activities or interests, but later realized the key was a shared visual focus. When people have something to look at—a path, a game board, etc.—the pressure of eye contact is lessened, making conversations more natural. The author tested this hypothesis at work, finding that having interviewees write on a whiteboard or displaying notes during meetings significantly reduced tension and fostered collaboration. The conclusion: for relaxed conversation, give people something to look at.